Guilt Complex-the major weakness of women

This is my recent finding, rather what I learn't. I might be wrong and I am not against menfolk or anybody else. This is purely my opinion and what I strongly feel.

I attended Women and Development class last semester and I had a very good teacher. Though ma'am was too liberal and too much of a forward thinker there were certain things she said which really made an impact on me. How many of us girls or women have actually been through one of these situations.

You feel tired after attending class/work and then suddenly when you really want to rest you are asked by your loved one to do something for them and you are so tired you just ignore that person and fall asleep. Next day you wake up and that person is fully blaming you.

You feel really sick but then your family expects you to do everything as before and totally depends on you.

You keep arriving home late and you are not able to give your loved ones enough attention.

I have been always having this dilemma. How do working women in general exist? Especially women who have very young children at home. I believe that whatever people do they must give their 100 percent. The working women neither give their time fully at home nor do they have 100 percent concentration at work. They miss the major part of their child's growing years. They also cannot sacrifice their career for the sake of their family or for the sake of themselves. Women who balance home and career we call them superwomen.

Coming back to what I learn't and relating to the topic of the blog, the major cause of some women progressing in their chosen career is the overcoming of nothing but GUILT complex. My teacher said, "Do what you want to do but never feel guilty about it. Never do anything for the sake of others. It is your life define it the way you want to be." These are really thought provoking words and her voice is still ringing in my ears.

Working women if they feel guilty that they are ignoring their child and family and start becoming  paranoid then nothing is achieved. She succumbs to other people's pressure on her and she can never create something for herself.

I even related her words to some of the tamil film dialogues. Raghuvaran says in silapadhigaram, "Either try to be black or white. Don't try to be grey!" He just simply says either live life for yourself-black or for other sake-white. Don't try to mix both. In another B&W Balachander movie I am not sure which, a woman asks her friend, "Do you want to live life for your sake or for others?" The friend replies, "Both!" The woman retorts, "Appo romba kashtam ma!"

One cannot aim to live life and hope to satisfy oneself  and satisfy others. Everybody expects something of you. They pull you from all directions. It is upto you to decide what you want to do with your life. People may try to emotionally blackmail you especially with unwanted sentiments. We must be bold enough and never let go of our cool at any time. They may say "Oh! You are the cause of all ruin".  Still you must never lose hope and do what you think is best. Everything will happen well at the end.

Remember in your priority list always you come first! This is not selfishness. This is common sense. Nobody knows you better than you. Then when you are more than comfortable, you give time for others. First take good care of yourself then only will you be able to help others.

As I said before..Never ever feel guilty either in the past or in future. Have some principles and go by it.  Take other peoples suggestions but don't get influenced by them.

These I am writing just to remind myself again and again. It really helps me boost my confidence. I hope it does something to the reader too.