Test of Patients

I am going to relate an incident which happened to me today. I don't know how many people I have helped overall in my life. Especially when it comes to dealing with the sick, I am quite an amateur. I only run away as far as possible from suffering and sick patients. Very immature and selfish of me to say so, but actually I would attribute it to my incapacity to deal with emergency situations or even giving first aid. I always have the fear, what if I go wrong and something happens to the person? But this time I was the patient--so extremely convenient!

I had an exam today and usually I don't get proper sleep during the previous night of any exam. My stress level coupled with intense stomach cramps was enough to toss my head off.  The morning blues started with the short cycles of tensed inspiration and expiration, 'Will I(breathe in)?' or 'Won't I(breathe out)?' get the college bus? The bus driver on the top of it had told me that he might not come. I pestered my mom to drop me by car to the stop which is just 100m away from my house. She too stood along with me ready to wave her dupatta at any yellow bus coming on the road. Many people going for morning walks witnessed our pathetic condition, but a gang of speed bikers swished past us towards the beach. For them, Saturdays meant fun and nothing else but fun. I became mildly jealous of them.

Ha, finally my own bus came and picked me up. What a relief! I gave a smile to my mom which was so lacking in me for many hours. My mom asked me not to worry being a bit worried herself. She must have said bye but by then all I noticed was the dark cosy interior of my own college bus.

Studying or finishing assignments in the bus is something that I have learnt to do but invariably these two are enough to put me to sleep. Nagging my juniors, bugging them with my no care attitude and meddling with their over expensive high funda gadgets are other activities which I normally perform with expertise and enthusiasm. They treat me as a necessary evil and I think they have already put me in their 'beware of' list. So they would carefully choose places away from the place I usually sit.

Today my bus was unusually empty. So I had a great time gazing out of the window. Then lets just fast forward the part where I successfully landed in college and walked up the 'tirupathi padi' upto my class, and finished my exam. After my exam got over, I couldn't leave early cause my friend wanted help with group theory. I sat there the whole time having lunch and explaining the meaning of each and every concept. It was great revisiting those parts and I was surprised that I remembered quite a lot and it also helped me to analyse my flaws in understanding. Then I asked my friend to accompany me to the station where I hoped to catch a train towards home sweet home. The train was at 15:11, I bought the ticket at 15:09 and I ran up the steps. I was shocked that I was unable to carry my own weight. It is these kind of moments which help me realise the importance of physical exercise.

I stupidly chose a place to stand, on the platform. My lack of experience clearly seen in my choice. The train arrived but nowhere I could find the ladies compartment. Then I ran haphazardly towards the engine driver and thankfully I located a group of ladies staring aimlessly out of the window. I rushed in but it proved futile as I could not locate a seat. I moved forward and I sat off on the place marked first class.

People swindle crores and crores of money and break millions of laws but a group of tired ladies should not sit in first class. Some idiot wanted to prove his authority and rudely chased us out of our seats. I was the last to leave among the group and I wanted to spit at his face but I restrained myself lest he throws me out of the fast moving train. I stood there aimlessly for some time quite shaken by the insult to humanity. Then I slowly started moving forward towards the crowded portions of the compartment barely hearing the noise of the people selling oily samosas.

I stood hanging for about a minute, I suddenly could not breathe. I started sweating profusely and with great reluctance I asked to be offered a seat.  I knew the minimal lunch, lack of sleep and stomach cramps had done the trick plus the haphazard running to catch the ladies' compartment. A kind lady stood up and forced me to sit in her place. Then questions started pouring in from all directions. B.P.a?, Sugar a?, Please call home. Where is your home? Which station? Did you have anything to eat? Do you bring medicine? Take water. Wash face with water. I sat down and on one side I was too tired to answer and on another side I didn't want to answer as it could trigger more questions. I just wanted to be left alone and peaceful, that's how my family has treated a 'sick me' for years. I nodded my head in every possible direction thinking that it would stop them from asking questions. Suddenly a sleepy old fat lady sitting near the window, got up and everyone along with her in chorus asked me to lie down. I seized the opportunity and moved towards the window. I didn't lie down. I just wanted a small space to sit. I felt too embarrassed. I wanted to dig my head into the soil like an ostrich so I tried to move my head right out the window but unfortunately my head was too big to be pushed out so I stuck myself against the wall.

I couldn't face anyone. I felt too guilty that I had pulled away their luxury because of my sickness. I drew an imaginary halo on top of their heads and prayed that they should all go to heaven. The fat lady who stood for me couldn't stand for a long time. So she pushed a thin perplexed small boy aside and squeezed herself on the seat opposite me. The questions had stopped for some time as I pretended to close my eyes and sleep.

The ladies in the train really took care of me. They were each giving me motherly advice. The fat lady sponsored me a bottle of fruit juice and forced me to drink the whole stuff. Nothing went inside cause it was too cold to be swallowed. I tried returning the bottle to her but she refused to take it and everyone again shouted in chorus "take it! take it! One must not refuse timely help!" The fat lady spoke "I think of you as my daughter. For her I would have surely bought it. So have it!" and she got off in the next station. I had no words, I never knew that the world around was this much good.

From childhood my brain has always thought, "Don't trust strangers! They cheat you!" The important fact here is that there are some people who are good and always ready to help in this fast paced, selfish world. If all people were bad then surely the world would have ended long ago. I again go back to the question I asked in the beginning, "Whom did I help to be offered such heaps and bounds of affection in return?".

So whats really needed in life? (contd from previous)

Its surely been such a long time since I last posted. It seemed almost as if this blog had enough of posts and has shut down permanently. 'Magar Picture abhi bakhi hai dosth!!' ;). This is actually going to be a continuation of quite a serious article written previously "Is knowledge alone sufficient in life?"

Who all in this world know very well and clearly what they want in life and from life. Very few people actually know what they want in life. We all simply say we want to be happy, live a very comfortable lifestyle, not have problems and want to get everything we wish for.  Nobody actually knows  what is going to happen in future, life's twist and turns. For e.g. Superstar Rajinikanth would never have imagined that he would be worshipped by so many people one day and that he would become such a popular hero. We never know whom luck favours. So no one must be underestimated.

Elders say hard work, perseverance,  determination and persistance can help achieve what we want in life. Again all this must be done at the right time, in the right bent of mind. One must not work hard to destroy the other person's work! Again right kind of action applying all the knowledge learn' t so far to seek more and find more.

The question is 'What is necessary to solve all life's problems?'  That extra special something. Man cannot determine the fruits of all his labour, he can aim, he can have ambitions and aspirations but ultimately what he gets is never under his control. There is something above man which controls, from which all living creatures derive their energy from. Man must open himself to this superior force. It is this superior force which will solve all man's problems which when invoked will help man attain the ultimate perfection and goal in life.

So what is really needed in life is to develop BHAKTHI or devotion. It is very much necessary in today's problematic and hectic lifestyle. Doing something with all faith and devotion leads to the right kind of action which will again lead to attainment of true knowledge. So the base is Bhakthi. Many great spiritual leaders have spoken in detail about this. Bhakthi is like a key to open yourself to the superior force. Bhakthi is strengthened by faith in yourself and faith in this superior force. We must consciously be devout. Devotion does not confine to performing pujas, being ritualistic etc but extends to all actions that one performs. Many people especially in the Western countries be quite devout in their work without actually knowing that they have opened to the superior force. That is why for easy access we give a form to the force and we simply and lovingly call the force as God. 

Performing any action consciously for the sake of God is the right kind of action and leads to perfection and knowledge. If I mumble in my sleep that I need water, will anyone pay attention? I must be fully awake and alert and say that I need water then only will someone hear me and fulfill my request. Similar is the case with God. We must be constantly aware of his presence and dedicate everything we do to him. That is the only solution to all our pressing problems and that alone gives us true bliss.

Is knowledge alone sufficient in life?

The previous post dealt with the importance of knowledge and how we must constantly keep learning to progress in life. But the question now arises 'Is knowledge alone sufficient in life?' Just by knowing what to do can the thing be done? Someone is suffering right in front of us and we know that the person has to be admitted in hospital and given emergency treatment but is knowing alone enough? There must be some kind of action taken right? Therefore learning alone is not enough, there must be application of the true learning to the right kind of action.

Again what is 'true learning' and the 'right kind of action'? These terms are so vague. We must first have a concrete purpose in life. Just wanting to seek pleasure in life, always be happy and peaceful is expecting the outward circumstances to act according to the satisfaction of our ego. The external circumstances can never be changed, only our attitude towards it can be changed. We must try to be least affected by the outward happenings and realise that the happiness and peace is purely internal. Now coming to true learning. True learning is learning and absorbing something without judgement, critisicm, accepting everything as it is, i.e. be like the witness to it. For example: When we read a news item in the paper, say, a bomb blast, our anger surges, our whole day is spoilt by thinking and imagining the number of deaths and at the same time fearing for our own safety. Another typical example is when we hear someone gossip or talk ill of another person, we believe them to be true. This greatly influences  how we build relationships. Then comes the 'right kind of action'. This is somewhat the consequence of true learning. It means doing something without getting affected by the consequences of it. Lord Krishna has said 'Act but do not cling onto the fruits of it'. For example: helping a person without expecting anything in return.

What happens when we do get attached and affected by learning and the actions we perform? The minute we get attached to something we learn or perform is the minute we stop learning, stop progressing. If we want to be always happy and peaceful we must keep progressing.

It all seems such a difficult task. Our mind is so hard to control how can we learn without forming ideas or opinions? How can we perform action without expecting the fruits of it? Shouldn't there be some incentive? How can an employee work for free in an organisation? The whole thing about right action, true learning is so out of reach especially when it comes to leading our daily lives.

So there is that extra special something. That which solves all our problems.  Long long ago, the earth was inhabited by only sages and rishis. For them knowledge alone was sufficient. They survived on air and gained great yogic power by doing sadhana and meditation. Slowly as time went by these sages began to create organisms on the earth and Nature dominated them. Man slowly deviated from knowledge and began to be under the control of nature. Nevertheless, he performed actions with sincerity and began to do extreme amounts of hardwork which itself led to his fulfillment in life.

With the progress of time, man began to think ways to reduce his effort. He created machines and gradually developed qualities of laziness and for every action he expected something in return. He became greedy, jealous and thats how men fought wars and sank into great depths of sorrow.  To go back to the rishi-muni state would be near impossible for him now. So again there is only that extra special solution to the problem. Can you guess what it is? (to continue...)

Aim of life--to acquire knowledge!

It has been a long time since I last posted. Having started a blog it is truly unfair of me to not give regular updates. The truth is though I had many ideas it was so hard putting it all together and of course there is a problem of typing. For the past few months though many flashes came in my mind, all thoughts seem to converge to one focal point--the purpose of life is to acquire and attain true knowledge.

It is not enough that you build an invisible cage around yourself and stay inside, for there is so much to see, learn and understand. No knowledge is inferior and unnecessary. Even gossiping, watching a movie or chit chatting can provide you with valuable lessons. Of course only the information must get into the head and not opinions, preferences and judgement as they block learning. For e.g. I recently learn't so much from the movie avatar and the gossip session of how one of my friend's cousin's marriage took place.

Books are the most valuable source of knowledge. It is very wise to in fact worship books on Saraswathi pooja day as a token of our gratitude for the knowledge it has provided us. I for my part believe in handling and keeping books neatly and with respect, whether the information inside it has gone inside me and benifited me or not. Tearing, unnnecessary scribbling, or damaging the book in any other way is not a clever thing to do as it clearly shows that you have not learn't much from it or even in life.

The next basic thing is to have a questioning mind. (The exception to this is the faith you have in God or even your loved ones.)  The more you have questions, the more you seek answers, the more curiosity you have, the more you learn. One must ask the right questions, at the right moment and to the right person. By right question means meaningful, sensible ones. You must put a great thought into the question, try to find out the answer yourself-from books or other sources(like internet) and if your efforts fail, you can put forward the question to a well qualified person. This is quite intuitive and one gets the knack of asking questions by practice.

Some other ancillary ways to acquire knowledge is to meet and talk to different kinds of people and travel to many places. The most important quality to acquire knowledge is to have courage-believe me loads of them. First have fearlessness and courage then everything else follows. I am one person struggling to develop these qualities. I get scared, nervous and continuously sweat for every new challenge I face in life. This should be avoided for it creates a barrier and it is not going to help me in any way.

To summarise:

• Read a lot
• Have many friends and keep making many friends
• Learn from everything you do and everything that happens to you
• Travel to many places
• Be courageous

Learn from Nature

Nature is the best teacher. Everything that is part of Nature is self replenishing and it follows its own pattern. Left to itself Nature can take care and man seems only a burden to it. When I was a child I used to feel sorry for the deer and curse the lion for hunting it down. Now I feel that even the lion, tiger is all a part of food cycle. Everything in Nature has a purpose and when looked as a whole is so fascinating. Men with ignorant minds take Nature for granted and end up bringing harm to themselves. Below are certain aspects of it which are the best teachers for man in terms of quality.

Stone: Just as the stone bears everything with patience and does not react to external situations.

Tree: Is a symbol of selflessness. The tree only lives for the sake of other creatures. It gives shade, flowers, fruits etc . It also teaches us to broaden ourselves. One must strengthen the roots and prepare hard in order to grow tall.

Sea: Life in general has highs and lows. All is not always sweet and easy.

Bees and ants: Symbols of Hardwork and teamwork. They do not rest till their goal is achieved.

Birds: Soars high. Pushing the limits. Each bird has a unique quality. Some symbolise freedom, some love, care, hardwork, alertness, contentment etc

Above are just a few cases. Each rock, each seed, each particle, everything in this universe has a lesson to teach us. They lead by example. It is upto us to take the clues and make ourselves and our lives worth living.

FAQs my mind revealed

These are certain questions which keep ringing in my mind on and off and to which i get instant answers from within my heart. The thought process has quite a shrill irritating tone whereas the voice of the heart is loud, clear and very firm. It is as though I have two personalities. One which is always confused, negative and gives me wrong directions and the other which hopes, aspires inspite of all difficulties, always positive, never reactive but always acts and is extremely focussed. But the former is quite predominant and it takes quite an extra effort to stop its functioning. Feelings like jealousy, envy, laziness, false ego are like clouds which hide the clear sky. They can be described as slush or mud. The voice of the heart is like the lotus flower growing out of the slushy pond.

The process of Meditation begins...

Q.1. Why can't everything in this world be always beautiful and sweet?

Ans: Beauty and sweetness are qualities which are very relative. A fisherwomen who always sleeps with a smell of fishes by her side does not get sleep smelling flowers. To her fishes are the sweetest smelling in the world. When one stops differentiating between various objects and have an equal view of all things then one shall discover that the world is truly beautiful and sweet. For e.g. one must appreciate both the taste of milk chocolate and the taste of bittergourd.

Q.2. What is the reason that there are so many pairs of opposites? What is the purpose behind it?

Ans: Darkness and Light, Truth and Falsehood, 0 and 1 and the things in between. It is truly a complicated world we live in. One must observe that these pairs of opposites complement each other and one cannot survive without the other. Falsehood must exist temporarily to enhance the quality of Truth. It is to realise the importance of Truth. If one is given a cup of coffee with too much sugar in it then one gets bored but drinks it all the same. With salt in the coffee, one immediately spits it out and makes another cup of coffee adding ample amounts of sugar. Thats life!

Q.3. What does this mean "Falsehood must exist temporarily"?

Ans: It is very easy to fall down from a cliff than to climb a mountain. Easy to go down the stairs than to move up. Falsehood is like that. When one realises that there is not a wee bit of ecstacy in falling down, when one realises that the joy in climbing up a mountain facing all odds is incomparable, till one reaches the highest summit the odds are heavily against him/her. Once the person reaches the destination then there is no reason for falsehood to exist.

Q.4. What is highest summit? Is that the destination one is supposed to reach?

Ans: Take the course of a river. A small trickle, then a stream, fast flowing river and breaking into various tributaries and finally it empties into the sea. The Ganges river starts from Gangotri in the Himalayas and empties into the Bay of Bengal. Just as the river has a purpose so does everything in life. A lion's purpose is to be born, grow, hunt, reproduce and die. Human beings too have a purpose. Other living creatures seem to be controlled under the forces of nature but it is we humans, who are born not to destroy nature but to appreciate her as well as think of something beyond.

Q.5. Think of something beyond?


Ans: Us human beings are special because we are provided with the special ability to think, reason and calculate. We have put this into destructive use and have wasted so much of our energy and resources in seeking after what we really don't find happiness in. Yes! happiness is our goal. But what can give one permanent happiness? Is it buying a new car? A top designer wear? Or winning a lottery? Helping people?
Even sometimes by doing good deeds, one does not get permanent happiness.

Q.6. Then what gives Permanent Happiness?

Ans: Perhaps the most difficult and the most important question that my mind can ever think of. The question itself is wrong! Happiness is not externally driven or given by something. It is a state which one chooses for oneself. To be happy, one must simply accept all, without a questioning mind, without cloudy thoughts, all that happens to one. It is very difficult but not impossible. It does not mean a state of inertia or inaction. One must act and continue to act like helping an injured person on the road, helping mother do the household chores but should one have to pay that person's hospital bill, should mother scold, likewise all the consequences of one's actions one must accept humbly without getting the least bit affected. Thats what Lord Krishna says in the Bhagavad Gita about not clinging on to one's own actions.

Salwaar Kameez- Clever Invention of India

People ask me: Which dress is your most favourite? I say jeans and T shirt. Then they ask: Which is the dress which is the most comfortable? I say Salwaar Kameez. Many women though they love jeans or saree cannot deny that salwaar is the most comfortable, decent Indian wear. It is the loose fitting dress which covers the entire body. The typical salwaar is a long top which comes just beyond the knees with slits on both sides and the Kameez is a loose pyjama like shaped uniquely with a ribbon or nada to adjust tightness around the hips. The dress comes with a dupatta which is a piece of cloth that hangs like a chain around the neck.

There are many variations. Some like their SK to be tight and figure hugging with a deep neck and back. But the loose fitting cotton with closed back, average neck is my personal favorite and ideal for summer heat. The dupatta works two ways. First it protects and covers the front portion and second the back too is well covered in case the salwaar material is too transparent.

I didn't much bother to trace back the origin of the dress. They say its Punjabi. Whatever it may be, it has become the most sought after dress by all Indian women. No India Fashion show is complete without the usual display of collection of SK. Colleges have made it a compulsory wear. Even the western wear jeans has been made Indian- jeans and kurta- very much like SK. SK materials as well as ready made dresses are available in plenty in all clothes showrooms. Because of the high demand they are turning out to be quite expensive. A good quality cotton salwaar material costs minimum Rs. 300/-.

SK offers a lot of free movement and space which is not found in the saree or sometimes even jeans. I personally don't like anything to be tight. It restricts my breathing. One can run, jump, fight, climb with the SK without being too self conscious. One can rightly say that the SK is one of the cleverest inventions of India which has brought about a sea change in women's attitude and also has contributed to women's empowerment. Now everyone even from those below poverty line and the remotest of villages has started embracing this dress. Long live SK! Long live womanhood!

darkness to Light-Journey

All are stuck inside a dark room.

Billions:  Move about aimlessly banging against each other and banging against the walls. They neither know nor try to find out the door to Light.

Millions: Go the wrong way, open a trap door and fall into more darkness. Unless they realise that they have gone wrong, it becomes impossible for them to escape out.

Thousands: By chance find a torch light, but before they start to use it, the battery power eventually dies out and they are again engulfed in darkness.

Very few: Without fear truly search and never give up. They have unshakable faith that there is a way out of the room of darkness and are ever ready to lead and guide those who are truly wish to follow them.

It is time now to introspect and think to which category we wish to belong. Not a moment to be wasted!

My Best Friend's Wedding! Why didn't I go?

Since February I have been so excited about my friend's wedding. We studied together for 3 years in college. I used to share everything with her. We even discussed in a value education class about how our husbands should turn out to be- (of course it was an exercise given by ma'am, we were not so jobless otherwise). She, another friend and I even went for a movie which was so memorable and it is considered to be the first time I entered a cinema theater to spend quality time with friends.  

To describe my friend-benevolence, kindness, sweetness, sensitive, reserved, patient, cheery but occasionally moody and very talented. She taught me to be brave, boosted my confidence and her enthusiasm was so contagious. She was our class leader and her waves struck the stone like hearts of every individual. Most important she had many priceless qualities that I didn't have and even now I am struggling hard to develop them. 

During working days she used to mingle with all our classmates so well but the strange fact is that during the holidays she is never available. She has so many blog sites in which she displays and proudly shows off her artistic talents. She is busy sculpting herself and prepares herself for something extra during holiday season. 

Due to the fact that I consider myself to be her close friend, I had many expectations with her. I had been impatient, short tempered and quite rude at times which she had pointed out at various instances. I had irritated her many a time. She said once to me," Education is no use for you! What is the point of getting educated when you don't even know simple things." Only I was capable of bringing out the worst in her.  The fact is she was never frank about her feelings. Her face would be burning with irritation and when I ask her she would say, "Nothing, Nothing!". Of course I used to keep prodding her and endlessly be hanging around for replies. In absolute pressure, she would open out her feelings sometimes.

Now comes the main part. Why didn't I go for the wedding? Even though I had told her many times I would attend, I just stayed back. There were many reasons for it. One I was tired cause I had done some strenuous work that day. Of course thats a minor excuse. The major reason is that I felt it is a much better option to just stay at home and pray for the success of her wedding and for the new life she is going to begin. Apart from Faith, Prayers and good wishes too move mountains. If I had been present at her wedding, the gala atmosphere, the noise, the people would have prevented me from concentrating on my prayers. I would keep thinking about that and would even forget to pray. Besides I just couldn't think of a gift for buying her. Everything seemed to be just too small and trivial to be given to her. She deserves much more than impermanent material objects. 

I don't know yet whether she is angry with me. If she is, I hope this post calms and cools her down. I also hope that one day she realizes that there is someone far away, in a distant land praying for her good health and prosperity.

Guru and Shishya

The relationship between Guru and Shishya-(teacher and student) is an extremely complex one and at the same time a beautiful one. Everything that one knows in this world has been taught to him by some teacher or the other. The teacher need not be a highly knowledgeable philosopher like Socrates, Plato or extremely disciplined and talented like Dronacharya, but as small as an ant or as inanimate as a stone. One might be fascinated as to what an ant or a stone can teach us in life? Well, the ant never gives up, it is forever busy and it teaches us to always keep ourselves active. The stone never to overreact to situations in life and being as non reactive as a stone can help avoid so many nasty situations.

So everything in life has a lesson to teach us. That means there is nothing useless in this whole wide universe. All things material, beautiful and seemingly ugly creations have something to impart to us. To put it better each and every object in this universe is our Guru!

Fine we have identified who our Guru is-everything we see, feel, smell, hear and sense and even nonsense. Isn't it too hard to digest? How can everything be our teacher? I hate person B, I hate eating this particular food! Oh I hate the smell of garbage. I hate cockroaches and mice. How sweet smelling is this rose? How foul smelling is this dead lizard?

The primary lesson to learn from our surroundings is Acceptance AND Respect! From childhood we have been groomed to accept and respect our school teachers. Though we curse them behind their backs we still try to act respectful in front of them. The school teacher is only a symbol. While we are forced to obey and respect the teacher we must force ourselves to respect everything in nature.


Each person born into this world is a Shishya and must follow a highly disciplined and orderly life. Each moment is a lesson, an opportunity to learn. The basic tenet of a student as the Upanishads say is self control and very very important-humility and shedding of ego. Ego acts as a curtain and prevents a person from gaining true knowledge. Ego=Ignorance. The mind of a student should be tuned to listen and ever open to learn. It must never doze off at any moment. Alertness and Awareness are two more characteristics of the student. Learning, Retention and Adoption, Application of the things learnt in day to day life is the function of the student.


What about the Guru? Being a Shishya is far easier than being a Guru. When a Guru accepts a person as his student, he takes responsibility for his(the student's) entire life. The Guru has certain powers over his student but that should not go over his head. Power comes with responsibility. Since the student looks upto his Guru for guidance, the Guru should possess all the qualities-like humility, self control, alertness and awareness in  extreme proportions to the student. At the same time the knowledge should be imparted in the right manner, at the right time having no partiality and in the right spirit. Being a Guru is indeed lying on a thorn bed for whatever sins a student commits the Paapa (the demerits) all goes to the Guru.

Though the whole universe itself is our Guru, yet it is so difficult to accept it. The universe itself is filled with contradictions and it will surely confuse the small learners like us with our impermanent and finite thinking.  We must choose one main Guru to lead us in life. Sometimes it can be one Guru to overcome every situation in life. The following table acts as a reference as to whom to regard as our Guru. The choice of our Guru is like choosing the right boat to cross the river.

Born into this world-Parents are our first Gurus.
At school and college- True friends, good books and caring, impartial teachers.
Citizen of the country- Leaders (may be king or prime minister/ President).
Throughout life- Religious and Spiritual Books/ Leaders. For example: Bhagavad Gita, Bible, Jadadguru Sri Kanchi Shankaracharya Swamigal, Pope for Catholics and so on.

Parents-Love them with all Thy might!

I am quite in the sentimental mood right now. I just now watched a movie called Bhoothnath aired on Sahara One. Actually I was reluctant to watch it for a long time thinking it was too childish for my taste. But I was wrong. I don't wish to write a review of the movie now for that is not my purpose. Whatever I try to do, say, experience, I try to make some inner meaning out of it. My friends would make fun of me. They often feel I take everything too seriously. Well, not everything, at least not what they think!

'Rasa' and 'Bhava' are two of my favourite words in Samskritam. Rasa means sentiment and Bhava means feeling. These two words define who we are and how we are seen by others. I liked the rasa part of the movie I watched today and the rasas are love, affection, caring and respect towards elderly especially our parents.

It is very good to have high prospects and be ambitious in life, aiming for extreme comfort, prosperity and joy. How many children just leave their parents here in India neglecting them if not totally at least partially and go abroad? We all expect our parents to listen to us always and the ego we derive especially from being financially independent causes us to have so many arguments and fights with them. We must always try to make our parents happy, thats what we are born here for and it should be done not for duty sake alone but with genuine love, care and affection.

Dealing with people especially the elderly is a real challenge, I know! They will have so many preferences, tastes, habits which they will not be willing to give up whatsoever but we should never lose patience for they had never lost theirs to bring us up to the stage we are now.

I am often so rude to my parents. I shout at them, I misunderstand them, get irritated with them. I should change myself. I should have complete faith and trust in them. They always seem to forgive me for all that I have said and the wounds that I have caused them. That makes me feel even more bad and miserable.

I have not seen the Gods I worship sometimes. With my half baked faith I imagine that The Almighty is present and guides me throughout my lifetime. At present, I am beginning to feel more and more that Love is God and God is Love. God is 100% my parents who pulls me up during my times of trouble.

There is a beautiful poem by Rabindranath  Tagore titled 'Upagupta'. It is easy to be with a person when he or she is very prosperous and is very happy. The person who stays, lends a shoulder in times of trouble, who showers unconditional love upon you is the one whom we call as God. It can be anyone in life, but for me God is in the form of my parents and for me to have true faith in God is to have faith in my parents.

There is no point in going to a religious place and worshiping in a ritualistic manner a thousand Gods if you neglect, disrespect and disregard your loved ones. Hope I keep this etched strongly in me and follow this thumb rule throughout life.

Sri Sathya Sai Baba is still with us.

I have dedicated this post for Puttaparthi Sri Sathya Sai Baba. Baba has left his body and attained samadhi on the 24th April 2011. Though I am not as much an ardent devotee of him but still... just thinking of him fills me with immense peace, tranquility and joy. I used to watch his program every Thursday at 6:00 p.m in Raj TV.

I have always wondered in the midst of so much of science and technology and such cynicism this person has managed to attract billions of people from around the globe. I have heard so many stories of him. Some of which are:

He has setup so many universities and he is providing free education to all. He has even solved the water problem for an entire village, something which politicians only promise and never fulfill. He has setup hospitals which provide free medical treatment to all the deserving people.

He has performed so many miracles like generating lingam from his throat, materializing vibhuti, gold jewellery and even silk sarees. He had done all this not to show off his powers but to make people to follow the path of God and to shed all ignorance. He has said, 'I am God! You are God! Only I am aware of it and you are not aware of it.'

One of my relatives is an ardent Baba devotee. Once while praying in front of his photo, vibhuti started pouring from it. Many such miracles have taken place throughout the world and the most important fact is that Sai Baba has managed to unify people of all kinds together and under one roof. He has made Christians true Christians, Muslims, true Muslims and Hindus, better Hindus.

Initially many people were attracted to him because of his miracles and later more people joined because of his message. The very presence of Sai Baba enthuses, enlightens, energizes, perfects all. Dedicating one's whole life to him and following his simple message is the order of the day.

Though Baba has left his body there is no reason to cry for he has been liberated from the constraints of the human body and he is more powerful now. Before leaving he has said that he will be reborn again as Prem Sai in a place called Mandya in the year 2012. Let us all await and pray till that happens. I sign off hoping for a better future and all to follow Baba's path.

Everyone thinks I am boring!

Everyone thinks I am boring.

Thats the first step to inferiority complex!

Everyone thinks I am stupid.

Acting too smart can be dangerous.

Everyone thinks I am a moron.

Innocence is better than perversion.

Everyone thinks I am ugly.

Blindness is quite a unfortunate condition.

Everyone thinks I am unfit for any job.

Responsibility for one's own action is enough.

Everyone thinks I am selfish.

Poking and interference. Is it welcome?

Everyone thinks...Everyone thinks...

Does it ever matter who thinks what?

Neither being high nor low.

Neither too fast nor slow.

With equanimity I shall glow.

Being stingy...Think about it.

Today's message is to broaden oneself. Very often our middle class mind is so stingy about so many things. We don't mind spending on a fancy phone but will think at least twice before sending a 50p message from it. 'Oh, I don't have that special messaging pack.' Hey you bought this diary and it is just too costly. In Parrys it is very cheap, you could have gone all the way there and bought a dozen such diaries.

One of my uncles actually did an extensive research before buying a Samsung TV. He compared prices of so many TV sets. Sony he said was the best but it is just too costly. He also compared the price of the same TV set in various other shops and he traveled a long distance to go to the shop of his choice and buy the TV set. It took him nearly two months to decide and buy it. Though he could afford to buy the Sony TV, his mind wouldn't let him do it.

His is not the only case. Almost all of us do it in our daily lives. We restrict ourselves. We don't think big. We are just too stingy to spend a little extra money and for saving a bit we end up wasting so many joules of energy. I will tell an example from my case. Having a printer is quite a nuisance. When my cartridge wouldn't work, I had to decide in buying a cheap recycled one or an expensive new one. I also got deceived by the lady's marketing skills and so I bought the recycled one. I had a shock of my life when I learn't that it didn't work properly. How much of my energy got wasted in trying to repair it. My printer just wouldn't accept it. All the ink too got wasted in printing test pages. I really felt angry, bitter and my peace of mind went in order to just save a few hundreds.

I am not saying not to be calculative. It is very good to be careful in spending money. When you invest in a cheap product, 'Ha! I got this in a discount sale.' you must also be strong enough to accept that it might just not work as good as you think.

First things first. No amount of wealth is going to substitute for health- both mental and physical. Nothing ever is cheap or costly in the market. It is all a deception, a mirage and an illusion. It is a perfect business strategy to lure people in buying things. One might think that he/she has achieved something great buying things for a seemingly low price. God only knows what other sacrifice comes with it. Net worth of everything and everyone is the same in the end.

There is always a thin line between spending too much and spending for quality. One must be well aware of the circumstances. I see that many people have written books on this subject and it is quite an old topic. But there is nothing wrong in expressing my viewpoint. After all it is my thought for the day!

An earnest suggestion...My email to one of my teachers

SUGGESTION FOR A STUDENT EXCHANGE PROGRAM

Hello ma'am,

How are you? I take this opportunity to say that you have been a great inspiration to me these 5 years. Your courage, commitment and the hard work you do for the department and for the college has really motivated me throughout. Hats off to you ma'am for I cannot forget the times when you were so determined and in spite of  your sickness came and finished the Measure theory portions for us. You had always the best intention for the students at heart and you knew that we would all suffer if you had absented yourself.

Coming to the subject of this mail. I just recently have been thinking of an idea. You can ask me why I didn't think of this before. Of course thoughts like these don't strike me at the time when most needed. I felt it would be most appropriate if I share this with you. 

Ok here goes... In my 5 years of life at Stella Maris, I have had golden opportunities to listen to eminent lectures organised by our department. Annually, events like Math Zoom and Math 'O' Match stimulated the learning environment. But I have noticed that Paper presentation event which is quite important is always held last and by that time most of us go home or some of us stay and are just too tired to listen. Even if we attempt to listen the subject matter of some of the papers goes way above the head. The participants just bring stuff from the internet copy paste into slides and mechanically read it out. 

So there is reason enough to make the suggestion for a STUDENT EXCHANGE PROGRAM. It is not a competition nor is it a race but it is a congregation for assimilation of knowledge. Here are the general rules for the show.

1. A few highly motivated people should be in charge of the program, it may be the Integra members. The program I feel should be for PG and M.Phil students for they would have studied topics in depth and would be more interested to work on it.

2. Monthly or once in two months a group of our college students should work on topics taught in the syllabus for e.g  'Algebra in the real world', 'Problems in Analysis-tips to solve them," etc

3. An invitation should be sent to other colleges encouraging them to also choose topics for pure, applied and applicable mathematics. Of course the topics should be concept oriented and from authentic sources and not just from the internet. All the participants of the program can be given certificates at the end.

4. The program can be held for one or two days- may be a Friday afternoon or a Saturday morning where all the participants present papers. After every paper there should be a interactive questioning and discussion session. 

5. Only interested people should form the audience. The program should not be a force upon the non interested students. They will only be a distraction to the proceedings.Only students from a few institutions like IMSc, IIT, CMI, Anna University, Ramanujam which are involved in Mathematical research should be invited.  

The basic aim of the program is to spread awareness and also motivate students to pursue research in various fields of Mathematics. It broadens the horizon and also the student gets to meet like minded peers from various institutions. 

The other question is that 'Why it should be held monthly?'  The more the better. Of course those details can be worked as per the convenience of the department. 

Thanking you, 

Yours truly

Mirambicka. R

P.S. I will try to improve my signature and be a better person in future. I sign off with your blessings and good wishes.

--
Mira

"Modern technology
Owes ecology
An apology."
~Alan M. Eddison

Exam tension

After years and years of experience and just minutes of thought, I have finally come to a consensus on how an exam should be conducted. In Tamil we have the saying "Parichai naale vepanga". It means attending exams is like eating neem fruit which is bitter tasting. Nobody likes exams. Only a few people who come in the extremes of the normal distribution curve say that "Exam is a test of skill and knowledge" ,"I love writing exams", "Exams are challenging" etc. Whatever it is exams cause us to always break away from our comfort zone. I would rather catch up with a match or go for a movie than write exams.

Have you noticed that every sentence in the above paragraph has the word 'exam'? Thats what it has done to my system. I just get so over frustrated, over excited with the very mention of that word. It gives me seriousness and an extreme passion to perform (look who is abnormal?). I bet every successful human being owes his progress because of taking up some test or the other seriously.

No! I don't wanna ban examinations. They are very much needed. My contention is that they should be well planned and well structured. They should test our real analytical skills, a test of understanding and they should fuel my growth. I am not in for exams which is a test of memory and mugging up. Such exams should be done way with especially in the field of sciences.

After watching "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" recently I have suddenly decided to apply it in the field of exams.

1. There should be only one exam per year per course and it should be in the beginning of the year itself. For e.g. If you want to study 8th grade this year then take up the exam in the beginning of the year itself.

2. That exam should be rechristened as "Qualifying levels or QUILLS".

3. There should be no specific pattern for the quill and it should test the general know how and thinking and conceptual skill of the candidate. For e.g. for a quill to the 8th grade it should have every subject e.g. English, Computer, Maths and the syllabus is everything from 1st to 7th.

4. A candidate should be prepared to answer all types of questions. There should be an element of unpredictability in the paper. The unpredictability should increase with the increasing years. For e.g. Quill of 9th should be more unpredictable than quill of 8th.

5. Of course there should be only class tests and assignments till 5th grade. Quills should start only from 6th grade.

6. The candidate should be allowed to take any no of quill attempts. Mock quills can be conducted throughout the year and it should be only OPTIONAL and not a force upon the student.

7. The result for the quills should be in terms of grades and not marks. For e.g. A, B, C, D, E and F. The candidate can improve the grades any time of the year provided he/she gets C and above in the first attempt. Suppose if she gets D or E or F, she can still take improvements but she qualifies only for the next academic year.

8. There should be no reservation in terms caste, money, creed, sex etc.

9. Quills must be conducted at a nominal cost based on income and there should be ample scholarships.

10. Quill system should be uniform throughout India. A student can take the exam in any authorized place in India.

11. Classes should NOT be conducted in the motive of passing quill. On the other hand it should arouse the curiosity of the student and encourage him/her to do research in the subjects taught.

Finally, there should be a sea change in the educational system and outlook in India. It is not quantity that matters but only quality. No point in literacy rate if one does not know to read and write anything except one's own signature.

The same pattern of quills should be followed in Higher studies- Qualifying level for engineering. medicine, mathematics, literature, journalism etc.

Leaving College.

I am writing again after such a long time. Today was quite a special day for me for I attended a farewell party given by my 1st year friends. I actually wanted to prepare a speech but due to other pressing matters, I couldn't do so. I get quite nervous speaking in public nevertheless I spoke what came to my mind-incoherent and in ungrammatical English. Then on the way back home I realised that I could have said some more facts about my post graduate life and my teachers.

Arul Priya and Nancy Diana were especially quite unhappy cause I didn't mention them while speaking. What can I say, the very fact that college life is interesting and fun is because of them. Their constant pranks sitting in the second row thoroughly entertained me throughout my second year. It eased me of all my tensions. I just got to turn back and I get non-stop entertainment even better than any cable channel on tv.

Roheen Taj and Chindya are two of my best buddies in class who really care for me and always wish the best for me. Roheen is innocent, childlike, fun loving and a great person to be with. The amount of bulbs and blades we got sitting in the front row can never be forgotten. Chindya joined me only later. She is loving, caring, sentimental and a wonderful person.

Ambika and Bhuvana are two people who I look upto in class.They have contrasting personalities. They were the first friends I made in my PG life. I cannot forget Ambika's molagapudi, her beautiful handwriting and her soft temperament. Bhuvana is an epic on her own. She has great observing power, awesome dancing skills and carefully avoids hurting anyone.

Radhika, Majee, Nancy and Sagai are the fantastic four. They are a relaxed bunch and pretend to be tensed during exams. They love sitting and chatting all day near the Big OAT and and are front row audience in every college function.

Punitha is one who is quite moody, hates veggies, hates talking about veggies and good health. She is always in my prayers and my vegetarian mind just can't understand how she has survived for so long without eating veggies. She is the happiest with Linia, Nancy Diana and others in class, and she thinks that I have the worst sense of humour.

Nisha the choreographer! Ashwatha the late comer! Deepika and Vinolia ever serious and engrossed in their work! Strepphila the ever welcoming spirit! The whole gang always puts me in splits. The quality of friendship has to be learned from them. They ooze enthusiasm and they are always open to road blockers like me.

Tamil, Suriya, Jenni and Arokia are the quiet workers in class. They always say that they can't speak good English. But they are a bunch who never give up and are ever willing to learn.

Celin, Esther and Sathya take full advantage of me and order me to help them in their work. Celin says, "Do this for me otherwise you are dead! " "You better help me". These people in return give me infinite love, affection and I feel that I have done so little for them to deserve their love.

Amala, Ashwini, Subhashri, Christy, Papi are a well mannered set of people in class. They love to have fun amongst themselves. Christy and I used to travel in the same bus together and I used to be like a radio to her or rather like a broken tape.

Linia and Kritika are two best friends in class. They are both excellent leaders and love travelling back and forth from dept to class. They take responsibilities seriously and are extremely independent. Both crave the feeling of importance and must have a piece of everybody's cake in class.

Hepsy, Veeralakshmi and Anisha are the three musketeers. They were together when they came from WCC and they always stick together. Anisha has a lovely handwriting on board. Hepsy sends me interesting mails. Veeru and I have had lunch together during break time. Hindu, Muslim and Christian unity of our class.

Jasmine, Rosemary and Komala are a shy lot. Jasmine is the most sweetest person in class, Komala the happiest and Rosemary the quietest.

Well thats all about my class. We have had our quarrels, frustrations, tensions and so on throughout the two years. But the amount of fun and frolic we have had supersedes all this. When I look back at this post after some time only good memories would come rather than unpleasant ones. I have all my 37 PG friends in my prayers. I wish them the very best for their future endeavours.

We will all surely be strong confident women and ready to face the world. Thats what's Stella Maris' mission and vision is all about. Thats what the college has done to us.

New Year 2011

New year, New hopes, New dreams. The earth has begun a new revolution around the sun. Many people have different ways of welcoming the New Year. They participate in midnight masses, visit temples, have overnight parties and so on but I would like to look at it as a blessing, a time given by God to prove myself and that I am worthy of his work down earth.  

The first step is to leave all old habits that really don’t make me feel happy in the end. There are many such habits, just to mention watching long hours of tv, getting very angry when disturbed, little obsessions, hatred, laziness and so on. This is not a New Year Resolution. This is something much deeper than that as the very word Resolution comes attached with disregard.

I want to make this year very spiritual. I want to forget the past be born again and live life again. There is so much to achieve internally. Petty things really disturb me which shouldn’t happen. All goodness is only within me, I need to discover that and develop a positive attitude.

There are 365 days in this year. Each day is a pearl strung in the necklace of wisdom. It is upto me to string it or drop it in the ground. I hope to string all the 365 days and make myself this beautiful necklace.

Starting from now…HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011